Nick Miller

Hi, I'm Nick Miller. I like to write things.

My debut novel, Isn't It Pretty To Think So?, will be released in 2012.

You can pre-order a copy from Amazon now.

Parker and I are driving along Sunset with two girls. One of them is in the passenger seat next to Parker, and the other is in the backseat with me. We pass around a bottle of whiskey. Each of us takes a couple of swigs before passing it on. Also in the rotation is a bag of coke. The girl with me in the backseat offers to let me use her keys to dig it out. 

“Put it all away,” Parker says, urgently.

I look up as the traffic slows. I notice the flash of red and blue lights ahead.

“It’s a checkpoint,” Parker says. 

My girl has the whiskey in her hand. I have the bag of coke. I grab the bottle from her and hide it under the seat. I put the bag in my shoe. Parker’s girl in the front seat turns down the music. My girl straightens her posture. 

“Turn the fucking music back up,” Parker says. “Everyone act normal. Don’t act guilty.”

She turns the music up. We bob our heads and fake laughter. I realize I’ve done too much cocaine. I begin repeatedly swallowing to prevent myself from gagging. Parker’s car inches forward in a long line of cars. I fear that I’ll ruin it all by gagging and vomiting in front of an officer. Four cars are in front of us. Then three. My throat closes around the back of my tongue. I start to gag. Two cars are in front of us. I reach down under the seat. I unscrew the bottle of whiskey and take a gulp. I hold some in my mouth so I can wet my throat again if I need to. One car in front of us. I put the bottle down under the seat as we pull up to an officer. 

“How we doing tonight,” the officer says.

“Just fine, Officer,” Parker says.

“Where are we coming from?”

“Dinner with these beautiful girls,” Parker says. 

“Anything to drink tonight,” the officer asks.

“Some wine with dinner,” Parker says. 

Another officer approaches my back window with a flashlight. I swallow the rest of the whiskey in my mouth. He points his flashlight into my eyes, forcing me to squint. Then he moves the light down about my feet. My eyes nervously trace the path of his light. When I look up, the officer is looking directly at me. I hold my gaze on his until he turns around and walks toward another car. 

“Carry on,” the officer at Parker’s window says.

At a safe distance away, Parker cheers and leans over to kiss his girl. Both of us in the backseat laugh at Parker who begins to lick his girl’s face in his exaltation.

“Jake Reed, hand me that fucking bottle of whiskey,” he says.

“Coming right up,” I say.


Posted at 3:41pm and tagged with: isn't it pretty to think so?, excerpt, prose,.

The airport wasn’t just clean, it was shiny, like the glass frame of my college diploma hanging on the wall in my mother’s living room or the wine glasses set around the table for my father’s dinner parties; shiny like the veneers on the housewives who lived in my childhood neighborhood or the Mercedes my bosses drove.

On that night, I would have been more comfortable in a dirty airport—a place where cancelled flights forced travelers to crowd together on the floor and use their luggage as pillows, their jackets as blankets; a place that pulsated through the entire night with the chatter of whiskey-drinking storytellers, all settling into the cozy dirtiness.

An excerpt from my forthcoming novel Isn’t It Pretty To Think So? The first 40 pages have been uploaded here.

Posted at 7:03pm and tagged with: isn't it pretty to think so?, nick miller, prose, lit,.

“I hate the taste of alcohol—beer, wine, whiskey, all of it,” he said to me once, a statement which bemused me initially because he was always drinking.

 But there came a time when I understood that it was never about the actual act of consumption or the actual act of sex for Parker; rather, it was about doing what he could to keep the deadness alive within him. His pain didn’t thrive within the deadness, it prospered within the aliveness. It latched on to hope and ambition. It proliferated in love. It succeeded in passion and concern and enthusiasm. But, as Parker had discovered, his pain withered in apathy and detachment and indifference. 

An excerpt from my forthcoming novel Isn’t It Pretty To Think So? The first 40 pages have been uploaded here.

Posted at 5:14pm and tagged with: nick miller, prose, isn't it pretty to think so?, lit,.

As I stared out over the fluorescent city, I remembered something a teacher had told my class in middle school long ago. She stood in front of the classroom, glaring at us with her pious eyes, and said that drinking alcohol or smoking tobacco were sinful choices along the path of evil. Sitting in my little student desk attached to a blue, plastic chair, I imagined walking down a road decorated with syringes, hanging there like Christmas tree lights and brimming to the touch with horrific, unspeakable drugs, and, as I passed through, the needles dripped and taunted me like low-hanging, forbidden fruit. I stopped dreaming of my past and took a sip of whiskey and lighted another cigarette.

-A tiny excerpt from my forthcoming novel: Isn’t It Pretty To Think So?

Posted at 9:04pm and tagged with: isn't it pretty to think so?, nick miller, prose,.

Sprawled sideways on the sand, I tried to get through the first sentence of a short story in my book, but each time my eyes reached the end of it I’d already forgotten what I’d just read and was forced to start from the beginning again. I certainly was reading the words, just not processing them—a realization that frustrated me.

Usually, when I concentrated on reading the words, they traveled from the page into my brain, but, given my newfound incompetency, I wondered where the words went after I read them if they never made it into my brain. I doubted the existence of a word limbo, a special place to harbor all the lost words, but I also knew that they had to go somewhere. I imagined the words coming off the page and floating toward my brain but then, inexplicably, falling from midair into the sand where they were lost forever.

I feared the guilt I would inherit when I looked back to the page of my book and saw, in place of the words I had just read, a blank space. I would have to be careful not to read any more of the words because I would be the one responsible for losing them in the sand—the monster infamous for destroying all the beautiful words in all the great books of literature.


-A tiny excerpt from my forthcoming novel: Isn’t It Pretty To Think So?

Posted at 10:32pm and tagged with: excerpt, isn't it pretty to think so?, nick miller, prose,.

I think it was mostly truth I was after. I know now that truth is a troubling thing. You can’t snort your way to it. You can’t drink your way to it. You can’t fuck your way to it. You can’t cheat your way to it. You can’t love your way to it. You can only let it envelop you and try to make sense of it all.

“Will you kiss me?” she said.

“Yes,” I said before kissing her.

“Now, come here,” she said, turning her back to me but pulling me closer with her hand.

  I positioned my body like an outer shell to hers. She guided my arm around her body and held my hand tightly at the center of her chest. I lay there next to her, trying not to breathe too loudly, and felt her warmth on my hand and my chest and the fronts of my thighs. My chin rested on the top of her head, and the bottoms of her bare feet rested on the tops of my bare feet, and everything was warm from the top to the bottom. It wasn’t just a warmth; it was a weighted warmth.

Every night when I tried to fall asleep, I could bring myself more warmth by adding a blanket or turning on a heater, but a weighted warmth could never be attained without the warmth and weight of another living being. It would be impossible to simulate. She lay next to me, almost in me like books in a shelf, and I felt her warmth but I also felt the light pressure of her weight, and it was so goddamn addicting. The addition of something, some weight beside my own, made me feel relevant, like I was contributing to the world by carrying something beautiful through it.


-A tiny excerpt from my forthcoming novel: Isn’t It Pretty To Think So?

Posted at 6:17pm and tagged with: excerpt, isn't it pretty to think so?, nick miller, prose,.